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Monday, August 18, 2008

The road...

A parka and a pair of long underwear later, I was on the bus. (Years later, my mother informed me a girl I was seeing prior to my departure had given birth to my son. She was pregnant when I left and never told me. My wife and daughter were many hundreds of miles away, and I thought we were just passing time until I left. I doubt it would have changed anything had I known...)

The plan was to take the bus to Seattle, then fly to Juneau. Once I landed I would play it by ear. The trip was uneventful until Bakersfield, California. INS pulled a checkpoint in the middle of the night, and three Salvadorans were escorted off in handcuffs. I was sober until Portland, Oregon. Rain mixed with snow and a 24 hour layover made it easy. I met a girl at the bus station. Her apartment was around the corner. She invited me in for a hot bath and a bottle of wine. I still don't know her name.
The next day I arrived in Seattle and began pounding martini's at SeaTac. The blackout hit before I boarded my flight. I was less than lucid.

In 1982, airport security was hovering around around nil and you had to be pretty deranged to warrant a second glance. I got more than a second glance when we made an unscheduled stop in Ketchikan at 3 a.m. I was escorted off the flight. The cold Alaskan air sobered me up long enough to realize I had been seat hopping and trying to start a conga line on the plane. No one was amused. They dumped me on the tarmac and I was met by a bored security guard. I asked him if it was true that marijuana was legal in Alaska. I seem to remember his answer was no.

As luck would have it, I cashed in the remainder of my ticket and purchased passage on the ferry heading north, catering to the inland waterways in Southeast Alaska. There was a bar on board...and it was open.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.


Thank you all...