There was cost involved in this incident.
Sure; the $24 dollars, wallet, badge, ID, assorted wallet crap-I was out that. But there was something more.
Something had been taken from me, and I felt horribly flawed by the news.
I became hyper-vigilant to the point my wife was scared to leave the apartment. I just thought it prudent to warn her what could be out there. Don't be a victim. Situational awareness- I could have used some.
But the things I became involved in, soon became too personal. I couldn't separate myself from who I was/What I did being the same thing.
I was armed-everywhere.
I was offered a full time position with the DA's office. Paralegal, full time. Wow-window of opportunity-wide open. Wind up crashing through the closed one.
I told them no. No to the county benefits, the county job security, the would have been retired by now had I said yes...no.
I became a P.I.
Good money, travel, work by myself. Liked it.
Of course it sounded romantic, but there's nothing like peeing in a coffee cup while following someone in a fast moving, surreptitious vehicle, to dispel the rest of that rumor.
Surveillance; insurance work, pretty run of the mill. But all of it tinting my attitude. Pretty soon my outlook darkened. People. Not impressed.
For a while it looked good on me.
But there were spies everywhere...
A cautionary tale, daily journal and travels within one Man's imagination.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
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My new disclaimer...yeah I know.
Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.
I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)
I'm done with that.
Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.
I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.
Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.
I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.
Thank you all...
I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)
I'm done with that.
Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.
I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.
Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.
I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.
Thank you all...