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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Ox

A dear friend coined the phrase referring to my present living conditions. Oxford House-The Ox. It is the year of the Ox, in Asian culture and represents to me I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this given place in time. Cool.

The Ox is an older two-story affair, a couple of blocks from my favorite Street in Dallas; Swiss Avenue. There are eight of us cohabiting and of course being who we are, situations arise, friction develops and lessons are placed before us to learn. We have two house dogs; Ronin, (I thought it was Roman-my bad) a black lab mix and Belvedere, a madly affectionate toy Dachshund.

We share a computer; we have our own rooms-complete with cable, a work out room, large tv's in the common areas, laundry facilities and kitchen. It would appear several of us are in the food service industry-which seems natural, considering the amount of drug and alcohol use in this industry-but are all, thank God, in recovery.

I took the bus for the first time yesterday but had to get a ride back to the house from my manager, as for the first two weeks the conditions of my living arrangement dictate I have to be back prior to midnight-I suppose before I turn into some form of orange gourd. And orange is not my color.

There is a large adjustment in all of this, not only for myself but the other guys involved. I am the new guy. Therefore anything that appears odd or different within the house casts suspicion on me. I can accept that. I would do nothing to jeopardize this situation as getting here was indeed a gift and it allows me to practice the axiom, live and let live.

This has been described to me as an investment in my future and I would have to agree.

I now have to mow the lawn before I go to a noon meeting.

Responsibility-it's not for everybody.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...