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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Children biting at my ankles

Money. It's how the world keeps score. Fuck that.

I work two jobs just to support myself, and ex-wives who rely on me instead of getting a second job. So, I basically work so they don't have to. Am I happy about that?

Not in the least. Do I make a lot of money? Hardly any at all. With the economy blowing harder than Courtney Love trying to get out of re-hab, it seems to be almost futile.

Time off.?None. Days I only work one job?

I fill time by going to meetings of alcoholics anonymous -for awhile, until I thought something different- doing laundry, shopping for what little groceries I can afford. Thank God I don't need much.

Other days it's work 8-10 hours, rush home, change clothes and work 6-8 more. Then rush home, a little television, something to eat, night-time medication and bed. Then blam! Up again at 6, sometimes earlier. No wonder I'm pissy.

But having whined about it all, it could be worse, has been worse. So I suppose I'm grateful for the ability to work. That's not to say I couldn't use a nap.

No comments:

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...