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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Children biting at my ankles

Money. It's how the world keeps score. Fuck that.

I work two jobs just to support myself, and ex-wives who rely on me instead of getting a second job. So, I basically work so they don't have to. Am I happy about that?

Not in the least. Do I make a lot of money? Hardly any at all. With the economy blowing harder than Courtney Love trying to get out of re-hab, it seems to be almost futile.

Time off.?None. Days I only work one job?

I fill time by going to meetings of alcoholics anonymous -for awhile, until I thought something different- doing laundry, shopping for what little groceries I can afford. Thank God I don't need much.

Other days it's work 8-10 hours, rush home, change clothes and work 6-8 more. Then rush home, a little television, something to eat, night-time medication and bed. Then blam! Up again at 6, sometimes earlier. No wonder I'm pissy.

But having whined about it all, it could be worse, hell...it has been worse. So I suppose I'm grateful for the ability to work. That's not to say I couldn't use a nap.

No comments:

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.


Thank you all...