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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I try to look on the bright side; much like looking for the humor section in a feminist bookstore.

There was cost involved in this incident.

Sure; the $24 dollars, wallet, badge, ID, assorted wallet crap-I was out that. But there was something more.

Something had been taken from me, and I felt horribly flawed by the news.

I became hyper-vigilant to the point my wife was scared to leave the apartment. I just thought it prudent to warn her what could be out there. Don't be a victim. Situational awareness- I could have used some.

But the things I became involved in, soon became too personal. I couldn't separate myself from who I was/What I did being the same thing.

I was armed-everywhere.

I was offered a full time position with the DA's office. Paralegal, full time. Wow-window of opportunity-wide open. Wind up crashing through the closed one.

I told them no. No to the county benefits, the county job security, the would have been retired by now had I said yes...no.

I became a P.I.

Good money, travel, work by myself. Liked it.

Of course it sounded romantic, but there's nothing like peeing in a coffee cup while following someone in a fast moving, surreptitious vehicle, to dispel the rest of that rumor.

Surveillance; insurance work, pretty run of the mill. But all of it tinting my attitude. Pretty soon my outlook darkened. People. Not impressed.

For a while it looked good on me.

But there were spies everywhere...

1 comment:

michael alan said...

Another idol fallen by the wayside- thanks! How do you expect me to ever watch Magnum P.I again...the thought of Tom Selleck peeing in a cup while driving the ferrari............geeezzz.

PS. I'm watching YOU!

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.


Thank you all...