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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Recovery...the old fashioned way

In the past 37 days, I have made about 55 meetings, prayed every morning and at night, met my appointments at the V.A., taken my medication, called my sponsor every day, helped others where I could, and looked for work.

(19 applications in two and a half weeks and submitted all of them without a car.)

I finally gained employment and begin orientation on Tuesday.

That's one hurdle down.

I'm not sure where the willingness to do all this came from, and it was exactly that, becoming willing to do what I had to, no matter what, and it started with a willingness to be willing to believe in something greater than myself, to turn all my stuff over to whatever that is (call it what you will) and to do what was put in front of me, especially if I didn't want to.

A friend told me a story today about birds in her yard that built a nest about three feet off the ground. She was concerned because she has five cats...and so she built a little fence around the nest.

It was, she said, an analogy for her spiritual life. "You can build a fence around yourself and try to keep you safe (i.e. isolated) but eventually you have to learn how to fly. You could also be eaten."

Nice to remember...

1 comment:

kathleenmaher said...

Nice to remember, but also important.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.


Thank you all...