eXTReMe Tracker

Friday, December 16, 2011

What you are, we used to be...

It's been six months or so since the last post.
Odd. It used to be a daily occurrence. However, the content of this blog is the basis for the book I am writing.

A book, about me, my life as seen and lived by me. My memories.

They may not be yours.

Any of you.

I have a mere 130 pages so far, as I still have a day gig, my writing time is when I can find it, and it's the most honest effort I have attempted at if not understanding my life, but getting to a place where it could be of value to someone else. If nothing else, a cautionary tale. But it is not a primer on "bad behaviour." Nor a primer on "alcoholism", "addiction" or just being a selfish shit heel. It is simple, my story.

I've been sober almost three years and I find my self completely dedicated to writing this book. I am not a dedicated guy. At anything.

Yet I am focused.

I find myself writing in the weekly Motel where I've taken up lodging. I have every thing I need, as my belongings always were few, so it's a good fit.

Interesting place. Everyone living here, a couple of days, four months, whatever, is on their way to or from something.

Some are settled in waiting for the weird to wear off.

However long that may be.

I keep to myself,ask no questions, am friendly when spoken to, and pay my rent on time. I never have visitors. My made in India, 1980 Royal Enfield motorcycle sits in the first space next to the front door. This is an Indian owned establishment.

To them, I am the coolest American ever. Fathers and Uncles all had Royal Enfields, they say.

I am the Raj.

There is a cost to the dedication I am showing for my writing. It is costing me friendships, as I find I have to relive moments in my life to get them on page, and my behaviour may be affected.

This is not an easy book to write.

There are consequences.


Tamilnadu Gazette Name Change said...

Nice post , i hope everyone will like your post

Mobile App Developers said...

Great article, Thanks for your great information, the content is quiet interesting. I will be waiting for your next post.

App Development Bangalore said...

Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...