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Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas to all...

You don't expect pious sentiment.

Not from here.

You sleep in, 12:30-text messages wishing you a bon-nuit from your twins.

In your refrigerator you have diet-coke and butter.

Last night you realized not even fast-food joints were open. 1:30- Whataburger-closed; Jack-in the Box-closed, Sonic-closed.

You had 7-11 burritos for dinner.

The bad thing about the restaurant business. If you are upscale, you are open when others are not, then when they are closed, you are hungry.

You will have to go through it again today. No one out. Ghost town-family time. The time you don't have.

You found yourself gently rubbing the bottom of your ring finger with your thumb. You smile.
Old habit. From then.

Your wedding band was loose, you would rub it with your thumb.

Absently. Comforting.

You have been without a wedding ring for almost nine years. You rubbed your finger for five.

You know you are alone.

1 comment:

michael alan said...

Nothing to do with nothing, but you know the group 'Blue October" ...this song reminds me of your plight... just sayin.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...