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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

You can't lose what you don't put in the middle. -Rounders

You play it close to the vest, or try to. You have to engage the people you wait on, and that is becoming a major chore.

Dance, bear-boy, tell me of your 'specials.' Cling-a-ling. Your cymbals chime.

And you sweat-they have the heat cranked, as well as two fireplaces blazing- you feel like you're running a fucking fever, and then, at half past nine-it broke, it was over.

Even though back at the old job tonight- much better time management/cost effectiveness/bullshit quotient- actually good to be back in the dysfunctional mix-you were still 'working'.

It seems you now have issue with this concept.

It pains you to do it at all.

There, you said it. Are you lazy? You'll buy it. Do you want what you want without having to work for it? Pretty much.

Weary sums it up fairly well. A general malaise that covers you like molasses with a bad attitude.

It was Christmas Eve, after all.

Your youngest angel called to wish you a Merry Christmas- You hoped hers was the best.

You're sure it was.

She has new Daddy throwing her first expensive Christmas at her. Her Husky had five puppies last week. She's busy. She's happy.

But she still called.

You guess that counts for more than any gift, ever could.

1 comment:

michael alan said...

for me, another day, but whatever it is you're into, have a good one! Me, I'm ALL in on every hand. Of course, that could be a bluff.

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...