Three days ago, after my trip with my girls, I was on top of the world.
Two days ago I received two, rambling, hate filled, dramatic, long (really long) diatribes by text message from my 18 - year old twins' Mother that I was to under no circumstances contact them because my contacting them was annoying and unappreciated and I was Mr. Horrible and if I loved them I would have blah, blah, blah....(She even forbade me to contact my youngest daughter who was visiting her sisters...who is not even her daughter.)
I have tried to repair that relationship every way I can, but in their world love equals money. Sad, really. But I know I have a part in this and I own it. However, I refuse to be the brunt of all their problems.
(Every few years she feels she needs to remind me of my failings in case I've forgotten. I don't know who left her in charge of that - but I thank her for her input.)
It takes two to destroy a marriage and she definitely played a part in that. But it's not about her. It's about me and my reactions.
I am powerless over people, places and things, and I will always keep my heart and door open for the girls if they ever wish to have a relationship with me. And I pray for the Drama filled Mama, and may she go to heaven...within the next fifteen minutes would be great.
I did receive a text from my youngest wishing me a Happy Father's Day.
And so it was.
So I'm one for three.
I went to a meeting this morning (the topic being restraint of pen and tongue- for the love of God) and afterward waited over an hour for a bus. None came. So I walked about five miles. God hasn't seen fit to cripple me yet so I'm grateful I can do it. (But the day's not yet over.)
Note from 10:00 pm. - One of my twins text messaged me a Happy Father's Day, and that she still loves me. Thanks God, I'm two for three.
A cautionary tale, daily journal and travels within one Man's imagination.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
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My new disclaimer...yeah I know.
Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be anymore...so now for something more refreshing.
I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)
I'm done with that.
Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.
I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.
Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.
I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.
Thank you all...
I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)
I'm done with that.
Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.
I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.
Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it stays...in the past.
I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.
Thank you all...
1 comment:
How sweet that your girls remember Father's Day and send you their wishes. You must be a great father.
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