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Friday, June 26, 2009

A matter of perspective...

I really don't know where the statement I am about to make derives from, but I am going to toss it out into the ether without fear of some cosmic reprisal or buggering.

This time in my life; these moments, these circumstances, may in fact be the start of the best year of my life.

Yeah, I know. I'm stunned too.

Something has happened; a psychic change, a spiritual enema, call it what you will, but regardless, I am not the same.

I face each day in these times ready to live my life, in the best way I know how, and my gratitude for being able to do these things is palpable.

My needs are being met and the list of real needs has gotten quite smaller and yet the wants don't enter into it.

My wants or lack of getting what I want kept me sick, alone and bitter, for longer than I can remember.

My now, ( as in present moments) while challenging, feels rewarding. And I am operating from a place of strength, humility and conviction.

Yet I am able to do the things I am called upon to do without too much grousing, if you don't count mowing a lawn straight up in 98 degree heat. A few choice words were uttered during that experience, and it really is medically or physically impossible for a lawnmower to perform the acts I was demanding of it.

My bad.

I have run across several folks living on the street over the last few days and instead of making a joke (like-What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl? You can drop her off anywhere.) I feel empathy, and I wish them better circumstances.

Then again, this could be a brain tumor, ending in me suddenly smelling cabbage and singing the Hokey Pokey in Portugese.

In fact this might prove it-"Põe o seu pé direito em, põe o seu pé direito fora, Você põe o seu pé direito em E você o sacudode todo sobre. Faz o Hokey Pokey E você se vira em volta, Isso é o que é todo sobre. " I thought I smelled cabbage.

But for now, to quote one of my mentors...Life is good and I surely am grateful.

No comments:

My new disclaimer...yeah I know.

Okay, the old disclaimer was tired. The ideas were outdated and keeping me stuck in a place I don't want to be now for something more refreshing.

I have recently changed my views regarding women. Seems I had some issues with the fairer sex due to past pain and self- centered fear. (Yes...duh applies.)

I'm done with that.

Being in recovery has helped me change my entire life, perceptions and attitudes. I cannot change my history but I can change my today and my future.

I recently realized that the women I know in recovery are some of the strongest, bravest, most gentle and kind teachers I have ever had. You exemplify integrity and spiritual growth, and I hope you know who you are.

Some may know of my past marital and relationship history and been a participant in them as well. It's past and that's where it the past.

I own my part in those failures but claim no more responsibility in any misery you may be experiencing. I am sorry, but it's time to get off the cross. We need the wood.

Thank you all...